Practice saying NO.
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
— Paolo Coelho.
THE LOWDOWN
Being nice, pleasing and helpful to others is a good thing, no doubt, but when you do it without taking care of your own needs first, you end up feeling angry and resentful at yourself and others. This happens for example when you take on extra work when you’re already overloaded, or when you accept that party invitation when your body is screaming for rest.
This practice is about creating meaningful and compassionate boundaries, so for the week, make the firm purpose of staying strong and true to your own needs and values, and say ‘No’ when you need to.
WHY IS IT GOOD?
Setting meaningful boundaries and sticking to them is one of the most courageous acts of self-loving that you can do, and loving yourself compassionately is the first step towards true happiness.
SOME IDEAS
Each of us know the situations when we fail to hold our ground for fear to displease others. Fear and resilience expert Brené Brown has a couple of tricks you can do to stay strong when they happen:
Repeat yourself a phrase like: “choose discomfort over resentment” to keep your focus in the right place before your answer, you’ll thank yourself later.
If you really feel it’s important to give an explanation, practice beforehand that honest answer, e.g. “I need to rest” or “I am really busy at the moment”.
Or like Vero did once, if you get nervous and your brain freezes but you know you have to say no. Just say: “I am going to say ‘no’. Thank you.” If anything, it’ll buy you time!
EXTRA BROWNIE POINTS
If there is a recurring situation of this kind happening in your life. Instead of waiting for it to happen again, approach the person or persons involved and explain to them your feelings about it.
Have a wonderfully strong and resilient week!
Vero and Enrique
Choose your rhythm.
Kensho Life
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