Practice Saying 'No'

 
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The Lowdown

Being nice, pleasing and helpful to others is a good thing, no doubt, but when you do it without taking care of your own needs first, you end up feeling angry and resentful at yourself and others. This happens for example when you take on extra work when you’re already overloaded, or when you accept that party invitation when your body is screaming for rest.

This practice is about creating meaningful and compassionate boundaries, so for the week, make a firm purpose of staying strong and true to your own needs and values, and say ‘No’ when you need to.

Why is it good?

Setting meaningful boundaries and sticking to them is one of the most courageous acts of self-loving that you can do, and loving yourself compassionately is the first step towards true happiness. You simply cannot be happy without loving yourself.

Some ideas

Each of us know what are those situations when we fail to hold our ground for fear to displease others. Fear and resilience expert Brené Brown has a couple of tricks you can do to stay strong when they happen:

  • Repeat yourself a phrase like: “choose discomfort over resentment” to keep your focus in the right place before your answer, you’ll thank yourself later.

  • Practice beforehand that honest answer you truly want to hear yourself saying, e.g. “I need to rest” or “I am really busy at the moment”.

Or like Vero did once, if you get nervous and can’t come up with an honest answer, but you know you have to say no. Just say: “I am going to say ‘no’”... If anything, it’ll buy you time!

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Extra Brownie Points

If there is a recurring situation of this kind happening in your life. Instead of waiting for it to happen again, approach the person or persons involved and explain to them your feelings about it.

Have a wonderfully strong and resilient week!

And if you like these practices and would like to help us spreading the word, please send this link to anyone you know who might enjoy them too: https://kensho.life/weekly-happiness-booster

See you next week!

 
Kensho LifeComment